Goblin Mode

A Children's Story

This month’s story is a kid’s story. Technically, body horror, but I don’t think any kid would read it and be traumatized. Let’s get to it.

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Goblin Mode

Artist: Catie Rowley

It’s the weekend, and there’s no school

I’m not going to clean my room

I’m not going to take a bath

I’m going to eat lots of sugary snacks

I’m not going outside to play

I’m going to watch TV all day

I’m not going to change my clothes

Oh no, I’ve gone goblin mode

I look in the mirror and start to scream

I’m the grossest thing I’ve ever seen

My ears are pointy, my skin is green

My teeth are yellow, and I look so mean

Hurry, hurry before someone sees

I’ve got to turn back into human me

I make my bed, I take a bath

I exercise, I eat healthy snacks

I read a book, I walk the dog

I put toys back where they belong

I go outside and breathe fresh air

I touch grass and brush my hair

I do my tasks, both big and small

And soon I won’t look scary at all

I look in the mirror, what do I see?

I've turned back into the real me!

I’ve got to do these things every day

So, goblin mode stays away

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This is something I hope to turn into a kids’ picture book soonish. It is… surprisingly expensive when you aren’t an artist and can do it yourself.

I will have a traditional short up for September.

I’ve also started a second newsletter: Hit Dogs Holler, where I’ll be posting nonfiction essays and behind-the-scenes stuff. Check out my post there, where I talk about the inspiration behind the first story I’ve ever submitted. A cryptid tale called The Jonbee.

The Jonbee